The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
