Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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