I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
