this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
