Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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