just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got inside last night via doggy door
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
