I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
