Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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