Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
