I wannas sexs uuuuu
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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