Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
