Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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