If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
