Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
