party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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