Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
