naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
