I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
