She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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