Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
