I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
