Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
