It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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