Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
