just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
