I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
