Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
