we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
