It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
