dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
