Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
