If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
