What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
