He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
