I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
