i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
