That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
