I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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