3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
