i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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