I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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