My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
