I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
