Im at strip club and am horny
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
