He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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