i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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