i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my shit smells like andre
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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