apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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