Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
