So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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